Color. Swirl. Smell. Slurp. Savor.

Posted by Him on November 5, 2009

This one is advice from a beginner to other beginners.

Trust me I understand how ridiculous it is to pour something alcoholic into a glass and not just dig straight into it. But I am trying to become a man of taste, and so should all of you, er, at least those of you who are men. If this were a site devoted to the Lemon Drop or (ugh) Jagermeister, I would have much different advice. But it isn’t, so pay attention.

Soon we will be posting our tasting notes. This will be something we do regularly. Before we do this, I want to offer you what I have learned about tasting wine. First and foremost, there is no “wrong” way to taste wine, there are just certain things you should do to really taste it. Drinking wine should be a pleasure, but for those of you who are curious to learn, here is what I have learned from Her and from books:

Color:
I’ll begin this with “fuck color”, but continue reading anyhow. Before the wine even comes near your nose or mouth, you should look at its color. The color can tell you the age of the wine, the grape, and how it was aged. You should tilt your glass away from you and look at it against a white background. This might be the hardest step for me, as I am colorblind. I always write what I think to be the color in my notes, but it’s usually nowhere close to the actual color attributes. Generally, I look for cloudiness and darkness, but actual colors will always be difficult. Fuck color. Make notes.

Swirl:
This is why you should have a proper glass. Swirling aerates the wine and brings out its aroma. Fill the glass less than half full. The shape of the glass helps to keep the bouquet contained.

Smell:
We smell 10,000 scents and taste 5 flavors. The step is important. I tend to smell the wine at least 5 times before I sip, and continually while I am drinking. It’s tough. I realize that verbalizing smells is very hard. Sometimes I will get something right away, but this is still very tough for me. Write down everything you smell or think you smell. To my surprise and delight, “cat pee” is actually an attribute you smell that is a positive thing. Yeah, cat pee. Also, pay attention the smells around you in your daily life. I’m smelling everything now just in case I find it in wine. I’ve yet to find “Dr. Scholl’s”, but who knows. Make notes.

Slurp:
Always keep the wine in your mouth for a few seconds before tasting. Pay attention to what part of your tongue and mouth are affected. Pay attention to the taste. The tongue can only identify five tastes: sweet, sour, salty, bitter and umami. Wine has no salt or umami, so concentrate on the other 3. Pay attention to how the wine feels on initial contact and throughout in to the aftertaste. This is the fun part, because it’s the part by which you can actually get drunk. Make notes.

Savor:
She never lets me say a word the first minute after we drink. I am just supposed to consider what I just had in my mouth (that’s what she said). We then make notes for several minutes before we even say a word to one another about the wine. Make notes.

This may seem to ritualistic, but it is actually quite fun. And very fun to do with a girlfriend/boyfriend. I tend to fuck up on a lot of these steps, because I am just not accustomed to thinking about flavors this way. But practice, practice, practice. And when wine is involved, even Allen Iverson would want to practice.