Hot Captain

Last winter We made what We called The Hottest Toddy. We drank them inside Her tiny little cottage during a grey, rainy LA day (which turned into evening which turned into night). Hot cocktails don’t even enter my mindscape until the weather dictates drinking them. Last week we Angelenos suffered through the hottest day on record; it was like 147°. This week it’s cold and rainy. Climate change is totally voodoo science, of course. Sarah Palin says so, so it must be true.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, it’s cold and rainy and We want a warm/warming cocktail. Tonight We are having Hot Buttered Rum, which I am calling a Hot Captain Munnerlyn; titled for my current favorite name in professional football. Here is how you make it:

Drive your Vespa to your nearest Trader Joe’s.
Feel sorry for everyone having trouble parking while you park right next to the entrance.
Grab a bottle of spiced rum, some cinnamon, some brown sugar, some heavy cream, some nutmeg, some butter and salt.
Pay for it, put it in the cloth bag that you brought to the store and then figure out how to artfully fit it into the pet carrier of your Vespa.

Get home, kiss your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/life partner/BDSM sub; whichever applies.

Combine in a mixing bowl:
roughly 5 Tbsp of butter
a cup of brown sugar
grate some cinnamon until you get bored
a pinch of salt
I poured a little heavy cream in but you don’t have to
I decided on some vanilla too

Mix all that together until it tastes good.

Whip some cream and put it in the fridge.

Boil some water.

Find a mug that works for hot liquids. I became very aware that She has more glassware than anyone I know but nothing that really screamed “Hot Captain Munnerlyn” at me. So We are using coffee mugs.

Put a dollop (spoonful) of the buttery mix into the stained coffee mug
Fill it about an inch and a half with spiced rum.
Fill it the rest of the way with hot water.
Spoon some whipped cream on it.
Grate some nutmeg until it seems like enough.
Stir it.
Drink it.

It tastes really, really good. And if you do it right it gets you pretty drunk too.

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The Hottest Toddy

hot toddy

It’s cold, err, it’s California cold. We tried red wine. It worked until we actually had to put on scarves. Then we had to bring out the big guns, which in this case means boiling what we drink.

As is our style, we kinda half used recipes, half winged it (which is also carrying over to the “quesadilla-casserole” that She is currently making). It ain’t too exact, but that’s how we like it.

Here is our recipe for Hot Buttered Rum Toddy Un-exact Whatevs:

1 Stick of butter
1 Cup of Sugar (we didn’t have brown, so we used regs, whatevs)
Some Cinnamon
Some Nutmeg
A Little Salt
Like 2 or 3 splashes of whiskey.

Mix all that shit together and put it in the fridge. We have an old school analog-crank-mixer, don’t recommend it; use a wooden spoon (taste it, if it’s good, it’s done).

Boil some spiced apple cider (Trader Joe’s has a good one).

Boil some water.

After the butter-sugar stuff is kinda hard, put a large dollop in a mug. Put a cinnamon stick in too.  Fill that mug halfway up with rum. Add a splash of Maker’s Mark whiskey. Fill the mug almost up with the boiling water. Add a little bit of boiling apple cider. I added a little bit of unsalted butter for richness.

Drink. Enjoy. Be careful; these things are strong. I’m pretty drunk after two of them.

But pretty sure I’m having two more.